Thursday, September 15, 2016 @ 12:41 AM 0 stares
I feel like crying
the fact that I am posting again after several years..
How much I miss this feeling
- in control of my life
even though it is only in a web page
that is aging gracefully like a vintage diary of a lady
stored away in an attic
of an English-themed house
After two years..
Not much of me has changed..
Well.. at least I refuse to believe that I've changed
I still have the same spirit at times
Wanting to be better
Knowing I can do better
and very much Determined to do better
there are times that I feel ..
I am not as invincible as I was before
I feel like I'm not the best at writing
- a skill that I once pride myself of having
I feel that it is hard for me to change
- a chameleon that I claim myself was
I feel that I am not as young and beautiful as I could be
- Vanity that I call my friend is no longer with me
I play on the safe side..
to protect myself
I stopped taking chances..
to not waste my time
I admit my weakness..
and stopped doing anything about it
I wish changing is easy to me as it was to me before
I wish that I am an improved version of me..
not this one..
not the me right now..
I do admit growing up is hard
and I'm doing it very slowly
I know what I'm supposed to do..
I just refuse to..
and once in a while..
I come back here
I read all the love letters I wrote..
all the love letters to myself to keep me motivated
all the love letters to keep for that special someone
all the love letters to keep me company when I am old and weary
and this blog full of love letters I keep
to either remind me to improve
or to remind me the changes I've gone through
My Journey To Be ME!
and one day
I shall read all these love letters
I shall cringe in despair of my writing
I shall also smile from reminiscing
I shall continue my blog of love letters like I did before
and open its' doors of wonders to someone who holds the key
the person whom I owe my stories
and a blog full of love letters
that I have been keeping to myself
all along it always have been private..
but not a secret...