Monday, October 31, 2011 @ 3:27 AM  1 stares
why do i feel like i used that tittle before..
never mind..

desire is the things that you want 
necessity is what you need

look at my bmi : 24.46
just 0.64 away form being overweight! wahahhaha...

its normal but there's a footnote there saying bmi over 23 have a risk of developing chronic diseases 
and that's not something to laugh about!

so which is it? my case, is losing weight a desire or a necessity?
i say its a necessity!
(rase cam tiru ayat tyra banks la pulak)

well its really my fault... a few days ago i was below that chronic disease line.. but now..
i've been eating unhealthily.. and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how unhealthily i've been eating
even a newly born infant can see how unhealthy it was!!

now i'm really eager to start!
i found a tumblr about a girl who weights a few kilo's less then i do 
but i guess she's shorter.. so her bmi is higher.. 
she dedicated her tumblr to inspire herself to lose weight

she had been through a lot... anorexia, she lost too much weight
after that, she started to eat and at some point she had bulimia and started binge eating and gained a lot of weight..

and now she realized that both ways are wrong and she's on to the right path
it has alot of useful tips and guides to the healthy way of eating
and also inspirational quotes

but still, the pictures in her tumblr is a bit scary.. its full off too skinny girls
but its okay, that inspires me more to loose weight healthily and not be too obsessed about it


i'm starting right now! no more tomorrow!
nina, if you keep gaining weight, you'll be like you were 4 years ago.. do you want that?
last year was awesome right?!?! you were awesome right????!?!?!?!
if you want to keep being awesome move that tush of yours!

starting with number 14.... sleep earlier!!
now sleep!!!

-posted at 3:24am-
hahaha i have a good explanation! i fell asleep after maghrib and woke up at 10..
now i have insomnia..ok sleep now~ nite peeps


Saturday, October 29, 2011 @ 2:37 AM  2 stares
i saw this

and thought

haha.. have a nice life peeps~


Friday, October 28, 2011 @ 3:34 AM  2 stares
haha kantoi hot linking gambar... lantak ah.. i'm to lazy to upload my own picture..

well it seems that our final result will be on 4th of november..
i have no idea where everyone already knows this from ...

so i've  been putting my facebook hiatus on hold for a whole week now..
and i found that, with facebook,  i've been spending my time playing tetris all the time
and less time watching television
and less time doing anything else to be exact

but i really needed tetris to keep my mind away from the stress the renovation crew is giving me
being trapped in a wrong for the whole day with no television..
and when i do watch, there's nothing on television...= more stress
it may sound crazy but tetris is the only thing that keeps me calm

in conclusion, facebook is really good when you're bored..
but if you keep checking up on it all the time, you most likely to not accomplish anything else...
so starting tomorrow... no more facebook and tetris for me... 

i want to be thinnn
i have to start eating less... lately I've been eating non-stop


Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 1:13 AM  2 stares

typing in the dark because i feel like it..
i just feel like posting these pretty pictures i found around the internet
really want to update but i'm too lazy to put my thoughts into words...

am i the only one who thinks that nothing interesting is ever on on weekends?
and weekday nights around 8pm
come on, that's prime time
i dont like watching the news...
most of them are about disappointed people and crime
its like watching a horror movie

and i love star world, axn and that kind of channel

but they have got to stop airing too many cooking shows
hells kitchen
junior masterchef
senior-citizen masterchef
the kitchen?

now come to think of if... i think the mass media is the main cause of obesity.. wahahahaha they should stop blaming schools and parents for not giving them nutrition guidance

and law and crime stories
ncis, fairly legal, covert affairs, drop dead diva
that all good...i love to watch them..
yg tak boleh blah yg citer baru tu....
the good cop? wat?...csi miami, csi new york,
aiyoo tolong lah csi kota bharu bila ek nk buat?

wahhh... membebel just when i thought i wasn't in the mood...

...good night...

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Friday, October 21, 2011 @ 2:49 AM  3 stares
i'm so sad...
am i that emotional?

in my defence 
 i cry when i keep something inside
even though its something small
it feels like i'm being poked by a stick
poke .. and poke... and poke
it fun.. kind of funny at first.. no biggie..i can get over it..
its normal.. i have to go through this...

just when i thought i can handle it
that small matter poked me again
and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke and poke

until it bruises me .. to a point that i cannot take it any more
that's when i cry

but when i cry.. 
they say i'm crying over a small matter
they have no idea how long i've been keeping it inside
they have no idea how much i've been thinking about it
and they have no idea how much they've hurt me

i've changed a lot over the years

from a girl who liked telling stories.. now i can only say nothing but the truth..well almost
from a girl who had mouth like a laser now watching every word that she says
from a girl who  try to like what every one likes.. to a girl who likes what she likes and don't give a damn
from a girl who completely mute during class presentations to a girl that well, can actually present something
from "one best friend" kind of gal to "more than one friend" kind of gal...
from negative thinking to positive thinking person
from a know it all to a girl who can actually admit that she's wrong
and so much more i couldn't even remember myself

but being over emotional is not that easy to fix...
it is not as easy as my other problems
all my other problems.. especially the ones mentioned above can be easily fixed by mind setting and a pinch of self discipline

emotions?... it involves hormones
and environment
 and only god knows what else..
no matter how professional i am at mind setting
no matter how many psychological books i read
i've never came across a Sure-Fire plan to overcome "emotions"

can i change it?

 and one other thing
is my face the kind of face that people get angry just looking at it?
because that have happened a  few times now
(grammatical error??)
i don't think i've done anything wrong to piss off anyone
not on purpose at least

is it because of my pitiful character?
my face? my aura? or do you just hate my gut?
does it make you want to slap me in the face?
does it make you to raise your voice and scream out of anger?
i dont think that's something that i have control of...

what do i have to do to get in your good book?
i'm never in your way..
i'm being very nice to you
i'm trying my best all the time to please you
every minute,
every hour of the day,
every day of the week,
every week of the month and
every month of the year!
what else do you want?!

sometimes i just dont understand why people prefer to love "the other person"
who makes more mistake than i do
who doesn't even try to please you
and who's always in your way
is that what i have to do to get to you?
be annoying? is that it?

so that is all there is to it!
don't even wonder why i have emotional problems
its all because of you
trying my best to please you
which is ironically not perfect enough
and that's what's poking me like a useless button on facebook

conclusion : its hard to understand humans...
its even harder to understand myself
until i can find a cure to this illness of mine
i'm afraid you'll have to bear with it..


Wednesday, October 19, 2011 @ 1:10 AM  6 stares

in selena gomez's song who says
the lyrics goes like this
 "i wouldn't want to be anybody else"

of course she wouldn't!
she's selena gomez for heaven's sake!

sure selena.. rub it in my face if you will! haha .. i'll still love you!
she's so cute, beautiful, she's eveything i look for in a girl
yess.. i love girls... not girls lah.. just selena!

stop looking at my gf justin..
go away!! go to your fans!
selena is mineee!

she looks so awesome just wearing jeans
and a simple blouse.. and that big baggg!!
i love big bagss!
is that tuti fruitti she's eating?

heels and earings~~
and you have got to love those legs!

i love her red carpet dresses
lately her dresses are a bit short.. and i'm kind of embarrassed to look..
but i'm sure its just a phase.. she'll get over it soon

even though today's post is not about my oversea obsession, it doesnt mean that i'm over it..
actually i'm CRAZIER after watching selena gomez tour videos
where she toured london and england and so on
a beautiful girl going beautiful places

no wonder she wouldn't want to be anybody else..

i wouldn't want to be anybody else.. except for selena gomez!
hahah just kidding.. i love who i am...
i just hate (a little bit) that i have to wake up in the morning and wait for my uncle to come to babysit ME while some workers are working on the toilet in my house... and i have to prepare coffee and some food.. and having my parents asking me questions like what did they eat.. since there's nothing much really that i can offer them to eat ..its making me really stressed... should i make rice for them? no way right? my mom said no.. its too much trouble and not enough bahan nk masak tu takde .. i'm not even a good cook..
it would be a trouble for them to finish them.. and i have to wash the dishes afterwards and wash the pots and pans and clean up the kitchen.. its a lot of work you know!!.. and if i do cook..i have to cook for 8 people.. thats like a small the dish washing is tripled than what i usually do.. and i have to clean up the table afterwards..and that also doubles as i have to do it again when my parents come back to eat lunch and dinner at home.. so i have to do everything that i usually does 2 TIMES THE TROUBLE..  and it really bumps me that my parents asks what did they eat instead of what did i eat...and the construction releases a lot of dust which is really torturing my skin, my eyes and my nose because of my allergies and the sound of the machine is just unbearable... torturing my ears, my voice, not to mention my day TV-time
aarghh i'm so stressed..

i guess i have no choice but to go through this..
i know god never burdens his subjects with things they can't handle
he knows that i handle this.. i just need to let it out on my blog
i want to talk to my sister about this but i'm on a facebook hiatus
so i can't really chat with her like we usually do
that's why i write about it here...

other than that my life is amazing
i love selena gomez
and i want to go overseas..
the end

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Monday, October 17, 2011 @ 1:27 AM  3 stares

my oversea obsession : day 3
haha... i still want to.. obsessed in fact...

there are only a few things that i think about every minute of the day

going overseas
losing weight
staying in a deep slumber

number 1 .. well of course i think about what i want to eat and what should i eat today,tonight,tomorrow, the day after that.. i've also been thinking about the food i want to eat during deepavali (because my siblings will be back home by then.. company always makes food tastes better)

2nd.. well... i keep on thinking about my speaking test performance .. did i do well enough?
how about my final exam?  did i score? will it help me to go overseas?

3rd... well .. (i'm starting every paragraph with the word well...) i've gained some weight.. but not much.. i have to stop doing that and start losing some ...or not i'll become a pumped-pumpkin one month from now...

4th........i just love sleeping.. i love to sleep and the feeling when you're in a deep slumber.. the one where you're not drawing any kind of map.. ( i hate waking up and discover that i'm a genius who can draw a map in my sleep)... the one that is not interrupted by your pets or any kind of water on your face/feet... or waking up because of excessive heat... maybe someone is ironing beside your bed or maybe your father switch off the air conditioner to wake you up...

haha cute huh?.. following up to my obsession, i've been stalking and following blogs
(following up? betul kah penggunaan terma itu)

but not just any blog with pictures of  girls with their photo-shopped n make-up-fied faces
i start to follow blogs of malaysian students overseas... and even those who are working there
or maybe those who just like to travel to places all over the world..
hopefully the can continue to inspire me on my dashboard..

 instead of the kind of blogs with gambar besarr gedabak ngan mascara,eyeliner and eyeshadow penuh yg tiada motif memenuhi dashboard ku

and somehow i started to follow cooking blogs..
and then more cooking blogs
and more about food
and more of them
and more

haha.. then i searched for dieting blogs..
 but after looking at them i feel tense and feel the strong urge to eat
hahaha ...using that as an excuse.... i decided not to follow

some people might think that i'm dieting because i hate my body..
maybe you think so too..

but to me.. i'm not dieting because i hate my body

i'm dieting because i love it!
and i want it to be healthy and fit
i want it to fit into pretty clothes that it deserves!

i'm not going to starve myself
i'm not going to throw up after every meal

i'm going to eat RICE!
i'm going to snack with BREAD
i'm going to enjoy MCDONALS
but in moderate amount
along with MODERATE exercise..
lets live a happy and healthy life!

amacam? cool tak blog post nih.. wahahaha...
motivational giler kan?


Sunday, October 16, 2011 @ 1:33 AM  2 stares

There's nothing else I can say.. eeehh ehhh 
-lady gaga-

i want to study overseas really bad now!
all i can do now is pick up where i left off and strive really hard to get there

in the mean time,
lets pray for the best for all of us...


Thursday, October 13, 2011 @ 4:22 AM  3 stares

there's no place like home.. there's no place like home ..there's no place like home

what's done is done

rice now became porridge
(shoves face into a pillow for the horrible translation)

i feel miserable every time i face the laptop..
every time i turn away a bright light of hope shines from above
(what in earth am i talking about?)

i want to go overseas
i want to go to Paris and see fashionable women riding bicycles
i want to eat their croissant

i want to study in the snow
and show them i can handle the summer~!
and take pretty pictures

in the mean time.. I'm going to spend my 6 weeks of holiday at home
family only.. no more visit to that "blue-header-ed" site.. it drives me crazy!
the people there drives me crazy..
hopefully i can accomplish more by not visiting that certain site
I'm sure you can guess..

by the way.. jenifer lopez.. cannot sing very well.. star world should really stop airing her video. its really noisy and really annoying after hearing it between every show..


Monday, October 10, 2011 @ 3:13 AM  3 stares

theres nothing you can say.. theres nothing you can do..
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on  cause you know you'll make it through
you'll make it through

i hate this song when arvil sings it
i hate this song when the whole glee cast sings it
but i love this song the the cast of the glee project sings this on their elimination

i really love marissa.. her red hair is soo pretty
and she's a good dancer
i love carmen .. come on who doesn't love those glasses..
i love damien with his irish accent
i love the way matheus sings this song..
they make me want to sing~~!
which is not a good thing at the moment because i'm loosing my voice and my muet is this wednesday!
hahaha i need to buy some asam jawa juice tomorrow~
i totally forgot what i wanted to say..
bye.. i have to START studying for my muet speaking test
let me repeat START!!!
wish me luck


Saturday, October 8, 2011 @ 4:28 AM  0 stares
nowadays. when we met someone new,  we ask for their number and their facebook account
do you remember the days when facebook didn't exsist?
we used to ask for their house phone number... and at the end of the year, we ask for their biodata in out cute biodata book with cute coloured magic pen..

but thats not what i'm try say today.. haha..

it is really "my biodataa"

there are a few things that you need to know about me.. but for now.. all you need to know is that
this girl right here loves to eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!

right now.. i have a few things that i feel like eating...

a fresh slice of  secret recipe cake


everything in the mcdonals' menu

i really want to try the carbonara spaghetti.. it looks soo good

when the tv shows the america's next top model commercial, they make me crave for spaghetti meatbalss..they keep on showing that commercial where they eat spaghetti

and i am reallycraving for the perfect noodles...
the closest i've been to "prefect" is eating the ruski tomyam

and my own megi goreng
and the mamak's megi goreng near my sister's house in shah alam...

for yor info, i ate my own megi goreng just a few hours ago.. and now i'm craving for more..

i really really love noodles.. except for mee goreng.. i hate them!
 except for my mother's mee goreng..
my mom always say, she's curious about my love for noodles as both of my parents don't really like noodles.. they can eat them but not all the time..

and that is all that i'm craving right now... and also fruit shake/smoothie ..
fresh fruits not the artificial flavouring

okay bed time.. bye bye..

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Friday, October 7, 2011 @ 5:34 AM  0 stares

i believe i can fly..
but not with out wings

even if i want to go overseas.. i still have to fly using the wings of the aeroplane
so logically, you cannot fly without wings...


overseas overseas overseas..
other than the wings of the aeroplane...
 i would need band 6 in muet as a part of my wings to help me fly~~~~!

the problem is.. how on earth am i supposed to study for my speaking test?
answering all of the questions in the muet book?
fine, i'll do that...will it help tough ?.. the questions can be just about anything

what else? remember to give a proper introduction.. 3 points and proper elaboration and a conclusion
basically i have to make a well structured thesis in 2 minutes and present it on the spot
thank you , thats all from me

next section...
i agree with candidate X  because... i'm sorry but i dont think i agree with you and so on and so forth
 be active.. conclusion...
the end..

another  thing that i believe is...

I seriously believe it now...
yes seriously...

presentinggg... kang so raaa

why?.. she used to weight the same as i used to weight when i was in form 3
(okay i was 3 kg heavier than her)..
now .. look at her!!!!!

if she can loose 20 kg.. i can loose another 10kg

her secret... eat 3 times a day.. only 3 times okay
and do a lot of exercise...
her answer is simple.. because she wanted to became an actress
and now she is!

sooooooo .. i have to work harrrrd!!!
starting from now...

haha this is mostly because i ateee a lotttt today, yesterday, and the day before that...
why do i want to be thinner?.. i have my reasons.. and its all about me me me me me

an episode of strong heart where kang so ra told her story really opened my eye..
and boost my motivation !!

kang so ra.. you're my idol!!

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Thursday, October 6, 2011 @ 2:44 AM  2 stares

there are a few "sacred rituals" that i do if i suddenly recieve messages/ chatbox pop up from boys

1. i would check if its a full moon..

call me crazy.. but boys tend to get a little "gatal" during full moon...

2. i would check his fb wall if he just broke up

and yeah.. if its not full moon... he just broke up and looking for a rebound girl

3. i would check his fb wall to see how many other firls he's been flirting with

sometimes, that stinking species just like to flirt and make fun of the female species.. if the people he had been interacting with on his fb are the ones yg tak bejenis.. mmg dier pn xbleh pakai~

4. i would take a look at his pictures

from that i can their "specialties"..they look good but repel girls in a way or two...
so technically all the pretty ones wont event look at them..
therefore they go for the "friendly" ones like me~.. no way jose!!

and theres also pictures that shows that he's probably from an all boys school or currently taking an "all boys course" in a university...

why do i do this sacred rituals?
the answer is simple

but thats okay because

hungry at 2:42 AM..
what should i doooo!!!

and just so you know.. i was just about to start "studying " for my muet...
but somehow.. i end up writing this post.. hahaha