Wednesday, July 24, 2013 @ 4:58 AM  0 stares
Assalamualaikum and hi~

hello imaginary readers..hows your ramadhan going?
mine? (as if my imaginary readers even care)
not as pretty as last ramadhan.. sobss
but..that is what my post today is about!

i won't give up!!

there's still half of ramadhan..15 ramadhan..
..okay less than half..
but its not too late!!
and i am not going to give up!

i'm going to use my ramadhan at home wisely!
i want to taste that halawatul iman
and to experience so, 
i need to fix my intention as everything starts with our intention

from Hadis 40 -imam nawawi

Daripada Amirul Mukminin Abu Hafsin 'Umar ibn al-Katthab r.a. beliau berkata: Aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda: "Bahawa sesungguhnya setiap amalan itu bergantung kepada niat, dan bahawa sesungguhnya bagi setiap orang apa yang dia niatkan. Barangsiapa yang hijrahnya menuju kepada Allah dan RasulNya, maka hijrahnya kepada Allah dan RasulNya. Barangsiapa yang hijrahnya kerana dunia yang dia mahu mencari habuannya, atau kerana seorang perempuan yang dia mahu kahwininya, maka hijrahnya ke arah perkara yang ditujuinya itu."

*inhales deeply
everything i do.. must be for Allah... 
waking up every morning for the sake of Allah
cooking for my parents for the sake of Allah
reading the quran for the sake of Allah
losing weight for the sake of Allah
(so that you can do your ibadah better)
having a crush on someone for the sake of Allah
that doesn't sound right..but it is true.. 

Diriwayatkan daripada Anas bin Malik, Rasulullah SAW bersabda bermaksud: “Ada tiga hal, yang jika tiga hal itu ada pada seseorang, maka dia akan berasakan manisnya iman. (Iaitu) Allah dan Rasul-Nya lebih dia cintai daripada selain keduanya; mencintai seseorang, dia tidak mencintainya kecuali kerana Allah; benci untuk kembali kepada kekufuran selepas Allah menyelamatkan darinya, seperti bencinya jika dicampakkan ke dalam api.” (Muttafaq alaih) 

instead of talking to myself in the mirror.. 
i need to talk to Allah more 
yeah..that's right.. because i'm never alone.. 
Allah is always here...there..for me!

instead of feeling restless missing a person so much
i should feel restless not missing Allah enough

instead of worrying when someone doesn't personally share with you what's going on in their lives
i should feel restless that i don't know the prophet enough
despite the fact that i have countless sirah books lying around the house!

instead of getting trying to compete with humans to get another human's attention
i should compete with myself to impress Allah who never fails to give me His attention

brace yourselves.. cliche alert !! : make everyday better than the day before
the feeling that the previous ramadhan was better is a NO NO
instead.. i should i try hard making this ramadhan the best ramadhan
another cliche: as if it is my last ramadhan.. 
i should try hard to make this ramadhan the starting point of a better ME
that's the whole point of ramadhan

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

Hai orang-orang yang beriman, diwajibkan atas kamu berpuasa sebagaimana diwajibkan atas orang-orang sebelum kamu agar kamu bertakwa ( Al-Baqarah : 183)

berusahaaa ninaaaa!!
ralit update .. dah nk sahur dah
i better go heat things up
and i mean the lauk.. hahhaa
..just so you know..i slept already...

spend your ramadhan wisely peepsss
pray for you ..pray for me.. pray for your parents...
pray for everyone
keep calm.. and pray! :)
Monday, July 22, 2013 @ 4:10 AM  1 stares
assalamualaikum and hi~

today i'm going to do some self-reflection 
haha isn't all of my post like that ?
the vain self reflection of myself

 everything seems harder day by day
the things that seemed easy becomes annoyingly difficult
too much work on too minute of a detail

the one thing that bothers me the most lately is my hijab, my tudung

lets start from the beginning shall we?

when i was little..standard 3 or so
i got scolded my by cousin

she said to me..
"nina..kena pakai tudung.. wajib..pungpangpungpangpungpang"

and then i said..
"kita kecik lagi.. rilex ah..x wajib"

so, she argued
"nanti kalau nina mati kena jawab ngan Allah"

vainly i said
"alah..xdanya nk mati esok"

and then she said
"mati x semestinya tua.. bila2 boleh mati"
"kalau mama papa nina mati..diorg pon kena jawab, kena seksa"

even though i was soo young.... sentap youuu
after that i still made fun of my cousin and her ridiculous preach
but my cousin didn't give up.. one day i went to play at her house
and she took out a piece of her tudung .. and asked me to try it on

god was i cuteeeeeeeeeeeee!!
so i said

"ehh... nak pakai lah lepas ni... tpi takot mama marah.."

and then my cousin said
"benda baik kenapa nk marah.."

okay  let me get it straight
that zaman was the zaman i got scolded by everyone for everything i did
it felt as if even if i breathe too loud, i'll get scolded
making me scared to make any mistake
making me scared to ask permission to do anything
and ended up not doing anything

anyway my cousin gave me that tudung as a present

i was attending sekolah petang
so in the morning i have to go to some kind of nursery to fill my time,
and then they'll send me to school in the afternoon.
that morning i took the tudung.. and asked "maaa.. nk pkai ni boleh?"
and than my mother said "pakai lah... dapat mana tudung?"
"maryam bagi"

i was shocked that my mother was okay with it..
and really happy as well.. haha
so after that, somehow i have a lot of tudung
the pink one was my favourite
i wore it sempang..i took both ends of the tudung and tied them inside the tudung, around my neck
i wore with baju lengan pendek

after that i wore it to my morning nursery school thinggy..
and most of my friends didn't wear tudung
so when i wore it they were like
"wahhh cantik nina pkai... mcm wardina, macam waheeda"

okay in that zaman, waheeda and wardina was really hot hahaha

but then people stared to tegur
"nina, pkai tudung, kena tutup ni...."
*while pulling my tudung to cover my chest.. even though i haven't developed any chest..

friend 1: "eh tu nina.. nampak nina kat billion smalam"
friend 2: "oh ye??, dia pkai ape??, pkai tudung x?"
friend 1: "pkai... baju tshirt biasa je, lengan pendek, ngan sluar jean"
(i smiled while thinking : knape tnye camtu?..toing toing)

so i was confused... i didn't know why.. but people said i had to..
i had to cover my chest.. and for some reason my arms
i was the penjaga who was taking care of us at the nursery,
she didn't cover her chest with her tudung, okay je
and all of my friends that tegur my regarding my tudung, diorg x pkai pon..

so whatever... i did what i had to
i started covering my chest.. and stopped wearing lengan pendek
all at the same time

standard 6, i wanted to go "free-hair"..but i tried going out once without it and it was super uncomfortable,
so i kept my tudung on

during primary school, at one point my tudung became super short as i got taller..i got uncomfortable and all i can do was pull and pull

so during form 1,i decided ask my mother to buy bigger ones..
and then people asked "nina skolah agama ke dlu?..
"eh tak.. skolah biase je"
"ohh..igtkan skolah agama.. tudung labuh" head went toing toing... i didn't see the relevance
it felt like a bad thing.. (bodoh kan?)
so after that i only wore normal sized ones
i think i cut my big tudung smaller.. :'( sobbsss

during form 4 form 5...
even my wrist became something sexy
apparently i had to cover them too
handsock katenye
even my voice is aurat
laughing out loud was apparently wrong
but speaking to slow was apparently wrong too
got scolded ample of times because of that

when tudung instant was invented... it wasn't long enough.. it felt like i'm not wearing any tudung
it didn't cover my shoulders, and it stuck to my face
so one raya, my mother and sisters were all wearing tudung ariani and what not
and i got scolded for wanting to wear tudung bawal
so i wore tudung ariani anyway.. to please them
it was a grumpy raya... my pictures were hideous.. i didn't have fun

so everytime i put on tudung bawal.. i felt like a loser while my siblings were ariani-ing and fareeda-ing it up
i knew it didn't suit me
so i tried wearing shawl...
one thing i like about shawls... i can pull them to cover what i want to cover
and i can twist them however i want

my shawl debut was at a bazaar ramadhan.. hahaha
and then i heard voices
"dik!.. char koey teow dik!.... abg ni blanja"
hahaha i looked good~~ dah pakai style hana tajima messy style
messy pon, muka yg penting attracted too much attention...
so i only wear it when i'm lazy to iron my tudung
and i refuse to resort to tudung instant

during asasi...shawl and heels were IN
form fitting baju kurung
tshirt and black cardigan were in style
but i wore baju kurung and tudung bawal everyday
because i have absolutely no intention to attract anyone attention
my days were all -go to class-go buy food-go back to hostel-

one time i was rushing somewhere.. so i didn't pin my tudung completely and rushed downstairs
i sempang-ed my tudung, like most people usually does..temporarily
when i got down stairs, my friends said "amboii nina.. sexy harini"
i replied "haaa ni haa pin.. x dan nk pin.. pgang jap beg".. *and then i pined my tudung

what i don't get... diorang pon sempang ..why is it wrong when i do it?

even then.. i didn't see the relevance..
all i knew.. i was comfortable covering what i should..
so i did..and that was it

at some point..
my usual baju kurung became jarang
nmpak tangan lah.. nmpak ni lah...nmpak tu lah

me : *masuk kelas wearing a black baju kurung, tangan jarang siket.. org x prasan kot
a guy's voice: " nya baju dia.." *throws away one baju kurung

me :"eh.. ok tak baju kurung ni.. nmpk organ dlman tak?"
friend :"hmm..nmpak la nina pkai inner" *throws another baju kurung

my usual tudung became jarang
nampak tengkuk..subang..
my full anak tudung wasn't enough
nope.. i needed inner neck
covering my arms weren't enough
my blouse... even though they were long...
terselak sana... terselak sini..
nampak itu nampak ini
wrapping my body.. was not enough
oh...socks wajib tau?..

one day, my older sister bought me tudung syria
it fits my face perfectly.. haha .. i look cute in them.. and i can see!
so i had the opportunity to choose.. i bought XL ones
when i go to class "eh nina pin eh tdung ni"
me: "a'ah...asal"
friend : "nampak...ehem"

so i stopped pin-ing and let it be
and then one day.. i wore it when i went out  with my family..

 my mom said
mama: eh pin lah tudung
me: hahah kenapa.. ok whatt?
mama: mcm indon.. pin lah.. selekeh..pungpangpungpangpungpang

now... i bought bigger tudung
non jarang ones...
but..people keep on saying "its too big"
and my clothes are too tight
and my shoes are too high one have problems with my shoes.. muahahaha

and this time ..even i criticize myself
haha.. nak pkai muslimah la sgt...prangai cam ape
baca quran berterabur
solat pon..hadoyaiii
hubungan ngan manusia x reti nk jga
suci la sgt padahal.......

why is it getting harder as i get older?
i wish i can ignore it and wear what i usually wear
but i can't
suddenly, they've became uncomfortable..

at times i feel like giving up
being able to fit into those pretty2 clothes
hearing how good i look in those pretty2 clothes
hearing my sisters say
"badan nina je boleh pkai baju mcm tu... tpi nina x nak pakai"
when my little sister is too small to fit into them
and my older sister couldn't fit into them yet

why am i so weak
i wasn't like this before..
why does it matter now?
banyak persoalan yg bermain di minda..
banyak tanda tanya dan juga kata kerja
pray for me
:'( sobss

Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 7:32 PM  3 stares
Assalamualaikum and hi

That awkward moment when 
you start with a salam
and continue lagha things

That awkward moment when 
you misspelled the word awkward

That awkward moment when 
you praise yourself more than you praise Allah

That awkward moment when 
you look better than your akhlak

That awkward moment when 
your tudung is bigger than your iman

That awkward moment when 
your clothes reveal more than vicotria secrets summer line does

That awkward moment when 
you sleep more than you usually do
you stalk more than you sleep

That awkward moment when 
you miss someone more than you should miss Rasulullah S.A.W

That awkward moment when 
you try to impress someone how have no interest in being impressed
while neglecting the One you should be impressing

That awkward moment when 
you say NO to yourself
but end up doing it anyway

That awkward moment when 
the devils are chained..but you're not getting any nicer
in fact.. worse

That awkward moment when 
you have no control over your own mind

That awkward moment when 
you stand in your prayer.. crying about something you don't understand

That awkward moment when 
you can hear the azan.. recite the quran.. sujood perfectly ..yet you take them for advantage
whereas the deaf longs to hear the azan.. still recites the quran
and the makcik on the chair performs terawikh, despite her disability to rukuk' and sujud perfectly

That awkward moment when 
you're tearing up while writing this post 
and then right after you'll forget everything about it
and continue on with your lagha life.. 

That awkward moment when 
you realize these awkward moments 
and you feel really awkward
yet, its just another awkward moment,
that belongs on the list of awkward moments
Thursday, July 11, 2013 @ 2:09 AM  0 stares
Assalamualaikum and hi~
Salam Ramadhan everybody!!

so.. my dashboard is filled with first..
first day of ramadhan..
what they ate
what they cooked 
what they saw at bazaar ramadhan
how their second terawikh went

well good for you
my ramadhan mood hasn't quite kicked in just yet
i can smell them in the air..but ...i feel so far...

kk..terasaa.... :') sobbsss

need to
read the quran..
read ilmiah books n stuff
 listen to tazkirah more
eavesdrop on the masjid's kuliah asar
and stop stuffing my ears with these earphones
(which is makhruh by the way)

on the bright side my parents both are extra "semangat" this year!

me : terawikh akk malam esok?
mama: tgk ah.. esok full day..tpi insyallah larat
me:      :O  ha?? okay..yeyeyeyeyy

me: nk gi dak mlm ni?? 
mama: boleh je nk gi pon..larat x ?(talking to my dad)..
papa: jom ahh.. dia mula2 je x larat.. smpai citu jdi larat je
me: hikkk..jommmm... gi eh... 

thank you Allah for such parents  :')
give them strength to go to terawikh..
give them the energy and the spirit
(mostly because if they don't go, i can't go)
make them my inspiration for a better Ramadhan
thank you for this chance to once again spend Ramadhan with them

i think i said something like this before
but if i could add the word sangat behind alhamdulillah.. i definitely would

so ..ever since ramadhan started (tak smpai 2 hari lagi)
i feel extra motivated
extra rajin
extra nice
extra sweet
extra extra extra lahh
but......there's one thing ...
extra gedik nk tgk dramaa

which brings us to the real reason why i'm writing this postt!!
i just finished watching DREAM HIGH 2!!!
and it sucks
but i like it!!!

yep... its awful..but i love it
no .. i think i'm in love with jiyeon hahaha
she's soo prettyy.. i love her!!

i'm going to stop before i start sharing all of her videos from the drama
the drama's awful
but jiyeon's awesomeee!
and she's the evil character in the drama.. not the heroin
but i lovee heeeeerr!!

and with that..
my korean drama watching session ends here for now
lets focus on RAMADHAN shall we?

All out ninaaaaaaaa!!
make a wish
take a chance
make change

and breakawayyy (from jahiliahhh)

hari tu dah okey sket
pastu ape jadi?
iman mmg lah sifat dye bertambah dan berkurang
and its our job to strive for it to bertambah.. and not berkurang
rojak pon rojak lahh
beruseheeee oii!

tidooo..esok sahur
have a nice ramadhan peeps

Saturday, July 6, 2013 @ 4:54 PM  0 stares
Assalamualaikum.. and hi...

how are you imaginary readers?? 
hows your July so far? 
ready for Ramadhan??

so..what's the same old oath i'm talking about?
the oath and you and i are guilty of..
pledging but not executing

Every end of a semester, we make an oath..

"I will work harder next semester!
I wont procrastinate my assignments
I'll constantly revise, do notes and what not
I won't play around any more, any moreee *sings maroon 5*
i'm going to be better next semester"

Every start of a holiday, we make an oath

"I'm going to work and earn some money
I'm going to use my holiday wisely
I won't spend so much money
I'm going to be helpful around the house
I'm going to loose some weight"

every Ramadhan, we make an oath

"I'm going to use my Ramadhan to its fullest
I'm going to khatam the Quran
I'm going to terawkih every night
I'm going to stop myself from eating excessively during moreh"

this time round... its no longer merely an oath
its a set of plans!!!


hahaha i want to write it down but its too overwhelming!!

nantikan di post2 yg seterusnyeee
it'll be too long if i cram it in one post...
i'm going out anyway~~ XD